Thirteen years ago I met the mother of my soon-to-be Japanese husband. I was impressed. She was strong, outspoken, and insisted I sit and listen to her lengthy lecture on life, marriage, laced with the intricate cultural interpretations of these, using metaphors such as climbing a mountain, swimming upstream a river. After the third rendition, even with my then low Japanese language ability, I GOT IT! I soon learned that we all listened to this little woman.
Here we are today, November 2012. The same strong woman, however, her age has taken it's toll. Dementia is setting in. We lost her beloved husband and grandad "ojiichan". The doctors have deemed her unable to live alone, so as the wife of the first born son, I am obligated to take on the dutiful role as care giver. But, you know what, crap with all that obligation...she is my children's grandmother! We have come to love and care for her over the past year since returning to Japan and I can't bear the thought of her living uncared for, without family. So, she moved in with me and the boys. She is a character with memories from far back and a personality that runs against the grain of the normal Japanese.
If only she could REMEMBER the now.
